It’s Not Tiredness, It’s Grief

I heard this audio and it so poignantly describes what I feel myself and many others are going through currently. The collapse of outdated belief systems. The weird, quiet and sad in between of having outgrown previous beliefs, but being unsure of what the next steps look like. So much of my life has been defined by where I am with horses. Still to this day, a huge portion of my career as an equestrian has been comprised of being competitive and chasing competitive goals. And, honestly, in some ways I miss that aspect of life. It was such a crucial part of my identity for so many years that even after outgrowing it, there is a grieving process. There is a deep sadness. Witnessing the shifts happening in the Horse world are profoundly sad. Seeing the pushback towards more ethical perspectives in the horse world is tragic. But, perhaps more so tragic, is seeing the collapse of people’s identities and the sadness and denial that can come with that. It is no easy moment to move through. It is incredibly sad. There is so much grief associated with it. And I think that grief needs to be noticed and commented on. Grieving the identity of who we were when we believe certain things is valid. Sitting in that discomfort and identifying it is important. There is so many aspects of horsemanship and the simplicity of what I grew up believing that I am still grieving even years later. so to those who are going through something similar: just know you are not alone.