The Sex Life Nobody Warned You About: What a Top Sexual Medicine Expert Wants You To Know

Most women go through decades of marriage, menopause and midlife without ever having an honest conversation with a doctor about their sex life. Not because they don't want one — but because most physicians were never trained to have it. This week on unPaused, Dr. Mary Claire Haver sits down with Dr. James Simon, a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at George Washington University, board-certified OB-GYN, reproductive endocrinologist, and certified sexual counselor with more than 800 published papers in menopause and sexual medicine. Dr. Simon is a past president of the International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH) and one of the most published clinicians in modern menopause care. Dr. Simon has spent his career treating what most doctors never address — the full picture of how sex, desire, pain and intimacy change for both women and men as they age. He treats couples together, and what he has witnessed across thousands of relationships is that the problems are rarely one person's fault, rarely unsolvable, and almost always rooted in something nobody warned them about. Guest links: * James Simon (IntimMedicine Specialists) https://intimmedicine.com/our-team/james-a-simonmd/ * James Simon (Instagram) https://www.instagram.com/menopause.whisperer/ * James Simon (YouTube) https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCwPULqh8u5GfrBGgVO-wKj0umOOX22P1 Books: * “Restore Yourself: A Woman's Guide to Reviving her Sexual Desire and Passion for Life,” by James Simon and Victoria Houston https://www.amazon.com/Restore-Yourself-Womans-Reviving-Passion/dp/0425181790 For full show notes, please visit: https://bit.ly/unPAUSEDDrJamesSimon 00:00 Pain is the real libido killer (and what to do instead) 01:00 Intro + why Dr. James Simon is the menopause/sexual health authority 02:10 Dr. Simon’s origin story: training, women’s care, and “misbehavior” in medicine 04:10 Why most doctors learned almost nothing about female sexual function 05:10 Sexual aging 101: desire, frequency, and what changes over time 07:20 The “sexual script” problem (and why novelty matters) 09:00 “Erotic surprises” + rewriting the script (practical couples coaching) 11:10 Resources for clinicians + bio-psycho-social sexual health framework 13:10 Myth-busting: “I can take it or leave it” and sexual neutrality after menopause 16:00 Men’s sexual aging + ED stats, blame, and protecting intimacy 21:00 Testosterone in women: who it helps, what it improves, what it won’t fix 35:40 GSM, vaginal maintenance, pelvic floor therapy, “outercourse,” and better communication Never miss an episode—sign up for The ’Pause Life Newsletter: https://thepauselife.com/pages/newsletter Medical Disclaimer: The information, including opinions and recommendations, on this platform is meant for informational and educational purposes only. Mary Claire Media, LLC, the unPAUSED podcast, and The ’Pause Life are not medical organizations. Medical advice or medical diagnosis cannot be provided to you through the platform, any associated website, or customer portals. Using this platform does not establish a patient-physician relationship.