Larry, The Downing Street Cat - The morning after the night before

Morning all — just a brisk update on the overnight shenanigans from headquarters here. First things first, and indeed second and third, I began the day with breakfast. Specifically, Edgard & Cooper’s Chicken Paté. While dining, with the sort of concentration usually reserved for hostage negotiators and trainspotters, I happened to read the packet, which proudly announced: “A complete feast that’s ideal for all adult cats, and sterilised ones too. Our silky soft paté with lots of free-run chicken will have your feline grinning from ear to ear.” Now, this struck me as suspiciously similar to the sort of language one hears from government communications teams: wildly optimistic, only loosely connected to reality, and clearly written by somebody who has never actually met a cat. “Grinning from ear to ear” indeed. We’re cats, not game-show hosts from 1987. Still, fair’s fair, it was rather nice, though I’m already emotionally preparing myself for elevenses. After breakfast, I conducted a discreet reconnaissance mission at the front door. Noticeably fewer journalists and camerabods skulking about today, which is disappointing because I rather enjoy watching them attempt to crouch behind shrubs the size of a shoebox. Naturally, I then wandered past the Manservant’s diary, purely in the interests of national security. In enormous bold letters, it read: “Meeting with Les Streeting” followed later by “King’s speech.” Which seems an extraordinary amount of activity for one day. Surely he’s not also planning to squeeze in a matinée showing of Paddington 2 while the nation hurtles along in this atmosphere of caffeinated high spirits. And finally — professional news. Regarding my new role at the Cat News Network: I HAVE BEEN PROMOTED. Chief Reporter, no less. Though before anyone starts sending bouquets of tuna and small mice, I should clarify I’m not on shift today. Back tomorrow. Larry. #cats #larrythecat #cutecats #pets #politics #animals