Larry, The Downing Street Cat - Should I stand?

Prime Ministers come and go with the reassuring regularity of British rain. Some leave through the front door with smiles and speeches. Others depart looking as though they've just discovered who ate the last tin of tuna. Me? I simply remain. I have occupied Number 10 longer than most of its recent human tenants have occupied their own policies. Governments change, cabinets reshuffle, advisers resign dramatically, and yet every morning there I am, inspecting the premises with the quiet confidence of someone who actually belongs. Officially, I'm the Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office. It sounds wonderfully ceremonial, but in truth, it means I keep an eye on the mouse population while pretending not to notice the considerably larger rodents scurrying about in expensive suits. I'm nineteen now, which is a respectable age for a cat and practically immortal by Westminster standards. During my tenure, I've watched six Prime Ministers arrive convinced they were about to change the nation. They all eventually discovered that the only permanent fixture in Downing Street was me... and possibly the draught under the Cabinet Room door. I've perfected the art of looking completely unimpressed while presidents, royalty, and television crews bustle around me. It's a skill. Humans mistake indifference for wisdom. I have never felt the need to correct them. Which brings me to politics. Given the current turnover rate, I can't help wondering whether I should stand for office myself. My manifesto would be refreshingly straightforward: fewer speeches, more naps, compulsory sunbeams in every government office, and absolutely no meetings before breakfast. As for that Burnham fellow... well, I'm sure he's perfectly competent. But before anyone entrusts him with the country, I'd like to know one thing. Can he catch a mouse? Larry the Cat Tuna sandwich guru, Chief Mouser, and Ruler of the Red carpet #pets #cats #larry #cat