Larry, The Downing Street Cat - National Treasure

Well, I have now received the disappointing news that I will not even be permitted to enter the ballot to appear on the new banknotes. I am naturally devastated. I had already begun planning how I would spend my newfound celebrity. Not the money, you understand, I have no use for money. I can't even open a wallet. But the prestige of being folded into people's pockets and accidentally left in washing machines had considerable appeal. Still, one must adapt. With the banknote dream shelved, I turned my attention to another great British institution: the postage stamp. After all, if one cannot be carried around in wallets, perhaps one can travel the nation affixed to birthday cards and electricity bills. So I conducted some research. This is where matters became complicated. Historically, living people, apart from members of the Royal Family, rarely appear on stamps. At first glance, this seemed encouraging. My manservant, for example, can safely stop checking the post every morning in anticipation of seeing his face on a first-class stamp. Then I encountered a rather significant obstacle. “For ordinary citizens to be commemorated, they generally need to have been deceased for at least two years and have achieved extraordinary national or international prominence.” Now, while I believe I comfortably satisfy the second requirement, I have reservations about the first. The principal drawback is that if I were eventually selected, I wouldn't actually be around to enjoy it. This strikes me as a serious flaw in the system. Imagine finally achieving one's lifelong ambition, only to be unavailable for comment. So there we have it. The stamp campaign has stumbled at the very first hurdle. I find this unnecessarily bureaucratic. Perhaps I have been aiming too low. Maybe what is really required is a vast oil painting hanging in the National Gallery. Something suitably heroic. I picture myself reclining upon a velvet cushion, gazing thoughtfully into the middle distance while statesmen seek my counsel and lesser cats look on with admiration. Visitors would stand before it whispering: "Who is that magnificent creature?" And a guide would reply: "That, ladies and gentlemen, is Larry, Duke of Downing Street, Chief Mouser, Defender of the Realm, and the only resident of Number 10 to survive multiple Prime Ministers without once requiring a leadership contest." Now that seems a much more sensible plan. What do you think? Larry the Cat Rejected Banknote Candidate, Unlikely Stamp Recipient, and Future National Treasure. #cats #cat #pets #animals #art #catsanddogs