Larry, The Downing Street Cat - Is today the day?

Good morning from Downing Street. Larry here, reporting for the Cat News Network, stretched across a warm radiator and keeping a jaundiced eye on the machinery of government. From my undisclosed location somewhere inside Number 10, undisclosed largely because I keep changing it whenever someone important approaches, I can confirm that the international press corps remains massed outside in a state of high excitement, despite there being all the tangible activity of a provincial bus station on a wet Thursday morning. Clusters of political correspondents, wrapped in scarves and self-importance, continue speaking earnestly into cameras about “sources close to the matter”, “growing speculation”, and “a mood shift in Westminster”, which appears to mean they’ve overheard someone sigh near a photocopier. I should make it absolutely clear that I am not briefing the media. I have no contact whatsoever with members of the world press, apart from the two camera chaps who know where to scratch behind my ears and occasionally produce Dreamies from a pocket with the smooth discretion of Cold War operatives. At present, I can exclusively reveal that nothing whatever has happened. I will, of course, report back the instant there is meaningful movement, a constitutional crisis, or the unmistakable crinkle of a packet of cat food being opened somewhere in the vicinity of the Cabinet Office. #cats #larrythecat #animals #humour #cutecat