Larry, The Downing Street Cat - Bank holiday Monday in Britain

Morning all, According to every news outlet in the kingdom, from the solemn-faced meteorologists on the BBC to the excitable breakfast presenters who behave as though the sun is a newly discovered planet, today is set to be the hottest May day on record. Britain, naturally, is reacting as though Vesuvius has opened behind Greggs. Personally, I shall not be venturing outside at all. It has always baffled me how much the British people talk about the weather. They discuss it endlessly. In lifts. In queues. Across garden fences. Entire friendships here are maintained on a conversational diet of “Bit warm, isn’t it?” and “Supposed to cool down Thursday.” But then I suppose it makes perfect sense. Weather is safe territory. It’s neutral, reliable, and gloriously free of danger. You can mention rain to a stranger without them throwing a bread roll at you. We Brits treasure politeness and privacy above almost everything except biscuits, so weather serves as the national conversational starter kit, a way of communicating without accidentally wandering into politics, religion, or whether pineapple belongs on pizza. Over the past week, I’ve noticed my manservant wandering around the house in shorts. This is deeply regrettable. British men of a certain age should approach shorts with the same caution normally reserved for handling unexploded wartime devices. Fortunately, he at least keeps his Arsenal shirt on, which spares the nation the sight of his belly hanging about like an abandoned beanbag. He’s also been grumbling because the Champions League final, which his football team is apparently involved in, won’t be shown on terrestrial television for “his subjects.” Personally, I would have thought the Prime Minister had more pressing matters to address than football broadcasting rights. The roads resemble the surface of the moon, trains arrive mainly as rumours, and the cost of tuna now requires small-business financing. Still, priorities are priorities. As for me, I shan’t be watching the football anyway. I’ll be settling in to enjoy the magnificent spectacle of cheese rolling, the only sporting event on Earth where contestants willingly hurl themselves down a near-vertical hill in pursuit of a dairy product while spectators applaud from a safe distance behind fencing and paramedics. Now that should be broadcast free on every channel in the world. It is Britain at its absolute finest: carnage, confusion, mild injury, and someone inevitably losing a shoe. #cats #cutecat #larrythecat #aminals #pets #cheeserolling