Larry, The Downing Street Cat -"And in other news...."

Seeing as things are unusually quiet here in Downing Street, so quiet, in fact, that even the pigeons appear to be speaking in hushed tones, my news editor has dispatched me to investigate a pressing international matter involving a walrus named Magnus. Yes. A wandering walrus. Which rather suggests it is an exceptionally slow news day, even by Westminster standards. Magnus, I am told, is a young walrus of considerable proportions and even more considerable charm, who recently embarked upon what can only be described as a celebrity tour of the Scottish coastline. One imagines him travelling with the vague air of a retired sea captain looking for a decent fish supper and somewhere agreeable for a nap. His first notable appearance came on the Orkney island of Stronsay last month, where locals encountered roughly eight feet of whiskered blubber reclining about the place as though he owned it. From there, Magnus continued his grand coastal progress, popping up in Lossiemouth, Macduff, Fraserburgh, and Hopeman, no doubt leaving behind a trail of astonished fishermen, delighted tourists, and several very confused seagulls. Now, walruses do occasionally visit British shores, though traditionally they prefer places with rather more ice and significantly fewer chip shops. Experts believe sightings have increased in recent years due to the gradual loss of Arctic sea ice habitats, which is a sober reminder that even walruses are now being forced into what amounts to extended working holidays abroad. Still, Magnus appears to have embraced fame with admirable calm. Crowds gathered. Cameras clicked. Social media erupted with the sort of enthusiasm normally reserved for minor royals and unusually shaped potatoes. And now, in a development worthy of a Scandinavian detective drama, Magnus has crossed the North Sea and arrived in Norway. One assumes he fancied a change of scenery, or perhaps simply wanted somewhere quieter after the Scottish paparazzi became too much. Personally, I wish the great fellow well. Fame is a heavy burden, especially when you already weigh the better part of a small family car. Whether Magnus enjoys having the press follow his every movement remains unclear, though I intend to contact him directly for comment just as soon as I can persuade Google Translate to add a “Walrus” setting. #cats #cutecat #larrythecat #animals #seaanimals #downingstreet #wildlife #humour